My Story

This is My Story.

This is My Journey.

It is a Hero’s Story.

It is a Hero’s Journey.



Along my journey of life, my trust was stolen in the darkness of night.

Taken from me at a moment when I could not put up a fight.


On this journey I encountered many obstacles,

Obstacles such as critics.

These critics were: my own thoughts of self blame,

And of people who forced my silence to remain.


But as I continued along my journey, pushing past these obstacles, I discovered my guides.

My guides are Spiritual Leaders & they come in the form of Dragonflies.

My Spiritual Leaders guide me through my journey & teach me self love.

They help me to learn acceptance & forgiveness.

Acceptance for my trust being stolen.

Forgiveness & love for myself.

Forgiveness for who stole my trust.


My Spiritual Guides help me to reach my destination.

My destination is to be free, free to be me.

Free to tell my story so that I can become a Leader.

A Leader for those who have traveled along a similar path as one such as my own.



This is MY STORY.


It is a Hero’s story.

It is a Hero’s journey.

I AM the HERO of my story.

I AM the HERO of my journey.



-Crazy A

Notes from the Universe – Coincidence, direct msgs or no big deal?

Do you believe in a Supreme Being? Whether it be God, Allah, Jah, Haile Selassie, Budda, Ishvaras, (Hindu personal Gods) various Greek Gods, The Universe itself or any other; science even? The Big Bang? Whichever it is that you, my lovely readers, believe in, I feel confident in saying that we can all agree that there IS a Supreme Being out there; something greater than us, the human race, that started/created our existence. Even if it is science and the “Big Bang,” even that is bigger than us.

What about life after death? Do you believe in that? Do you believe in angels and or demons? Communications from the different Gods, from loved ones passed or even The Universe itself speaking to us through its own language of energy? What do you guys think about or believe in with regards to that? I personally believe in God as our creator as well as The Universe having its own identity, but yet, still tied to our creator, God. I believe that God created the The Universe and that he speaks to us sometimes directly and sometimes through The Universe itself. I believe that God, The Universe, our ancestors and angels are all around us, always protecting and speaking to us. We just have to learn how to “tune in” to their frequencies and trust me, the messages that we will receive are nothing short of amazing.

So not everyone believes the same or even in any other religion/ belief systems and that’s O.K. Whatever the case may be, as long as we agree to disagree but most importantly RESPECT what the other person believes and to NOT try & force feed and project our beliefs onto each other. Side Note: There is a difference between projecting/forcing vs teaching. Teaching is done with an open mind and acceptance that the person to whom we are teaching has the choice to reject our teachings and that’s ok.

I personally do not believe that any one God is superior to the other. But rather that there is ONE Supreme Being that exists in multiple forms depending on different persons. I believe this because, just like children learn differently, we as adults have different ways of learning and understanding as well. I believe that these different forms of the Supreme Being come to us depending on a variety of things: Where were live, the times we were born, our cultures, of family, social exposure etc. At the end of it all, all messages speak to the same things: “Be kind to one another, love each other, respect each other, help those in need and lastly, your thoughts create your reality.” These messages are just shared through different forms of the singular Supreme Being. We were all created differently so why wouldn’t we all then learn differently and have different religions and different systems for sharing the same knowledge?

Over the past year and a half………..dang yes we 1/2 way through 2019 already to rass! (– Kiss mi granny! Whoi! mi cyan believe!) I have been on the journey of self discovery and finally “coming home to myself.” What I mean by this is that I have been going through life’s journey of discovering ME. It’s been one hell of a fabulous journey with, of course, both ups and downs and turn arounds! One of the things that I have learned was how to “tune in” to the radio of life, particularly to The Universe and receive the messages that it has been trying to send me over the years. I was simply unaware that it was trying to reach me. My Life’s Radio had not yet been programed to receive that frequency. I learned only recently, that, in order to receive the messages that The Universe was trying to send me I had to give up other frequencies that I had been listening to in order to make room for The Universe’s frequency. It also meant I had to learn some very hard lessons…. but … isn’t that life? Most people, like I was, are not willing to let go of the other radio stations/frequencies. But if we don’t let go of them, then we will never be able to receive these powerful messages! For me I believe it all started when I noticed dragonflies EVERYWHERE. Back in 2015 I started seeing them literally everywhere I went. I would see them while stopped in traffic, parking at the office (this happened EVERY SINGLE DAY) out in the yard, walking on Devon House property while getting ice-cream. You name it… I saw them there!

I have always been a very curious person and my thirst for knowledge has always been at my core. I’m that type of child who while at the dentist, with mouth wide open and the doctors in and out with tools, I would ask each time, what is that? What are you going to do?! Mind you I think that was more out of fear of Doctor Meeks and my cousin Tony but still I would ALWAYS be asking questions and reading books to learn as much as I could. I actually have a funny memory of my dad getting frustrated with me while helping me with my math homework. X=2. Y=5… OK but WHY? “It just does!” he shouted. I’m sure in the moment dad did not find it funny but looking back on it now I see the humor as I realized that that is just who I am. I always want to know more and understand as much as I can. With children it can be very frustrating to our parents and can cause some trauma to kids if their questions are obstructed. I can understand that, now as an adult, and now I am leaning into my courage to push the boundaries of things. It may piss of a few people but “suh it guh”. I have to stay true to myself. I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking questions at all. If my asking a question embarrasses you… sorreeeee… but there is knowledge I need to know and if you can’t provide the answers then I will ask someone else. Simple.

Anyhow, I say all that to say that recently, one morning something very interesting happened whilst sitting out on the balcony. I had woken at 5:30am and well, since my time slot to walk chip in the complex is 5:30 – 6:00 sharp which I would not make, I decided to use that hour and a half as time to get some journaling and reading in and to “tune in.” For some reason that morning, I got a strong message (or desire if you will) to select a particular book out of my library. Specifically the title: “Notes from the Universe” by Mike Dooley

Notes from the Universe. By Mike Dooley

I found it a bit strange that I was being told/compelled to select THIS title but I went with it anyway. I quietly took the book out of the cabinet and headed back out to the balcony. I sit down and don’t really pay it much attention at first but then I decide to open it and, instead of skipping over the “Thank you’s” and “Praises” for the book, I decide to read from the literal first page. People said a lot of great things about this book, a lot of “Thank You’s” and “Your messages spoke to me!” “These messages came at the perfect time!” etc. Then…. as I get to the last page of the “Praise for Mike Dooley’s Notes from the Universe” section I flip the page and what I see catches me totally off guard. I was utterly SHOCKED at what I saw on the dedication page. You know how most authors write: “For my wife X.” or “For my children xyz” Well, instead of that, I saw this: For Amanda.”  I could NOT believe my eyes! Out of ALL the names in the universe, of all the people in this man’s life that could have a totally different name…. but instead I saw my own! Nah Star! Dis ya Universe a lick mi lef right an centre wit di messages dem! Is this for real?!

My Name! Seriously???! WOW

I’ve had this book in my cabinet for a good couple of months now and never touched it except for when I was packing it away. There was some reason as to why I was compelled to take this book out of the cabinet and read it that morning. What the exact message was I’m not sure. Maybe it could just simply have been a test to see if I was still “tuned in.”  Oh trust me God/Universe I’m fully tuned in! I hear you loud and clear!

Ever since picking up that book, and being blown away by seeing my name, I have just been feeling this strong connection to it. Even now as I type this I feel its energy compelling me to bring it close and keep it by my side. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m reading too much into this but whatever, this feels right to me and I’m going with it. Believe what you wanna believe so long as it is your truth while still upholding the messages of love and honor to your brothers and sisters in this race of life.

So since then I have been opening the book at random (as instructed) and those who wrote to Mike telling him how “perfect the messages were” and how “their timing could not have been better”… well they are right. Every little Note from the Universe that I randomly opened the book to and read, has moved me in that moment. It’s simply crazy….. I’ll be keeping this one close…….

Lastly, when I continued through to the section called: “How you might use this book.” I see it speak to me yet again! How did it know that I’m a writer? lol OK Universe, I get the hint…. I’ve neglected the book I’m writing for too long….. I see what you did there…

Yes yes… I need to start working on my book again. I get the hint!

In closing I will leave you with it’s first message. One that just made me laugh. It seems The Universe has been trying to reach me all along… I just didn’t know until now.


Thats all for now guys.

-Crazy A (Maybe quite literally this time! hahaha)

Want to buy this book? Click here–>

A Book Review of “Huracan” By Diana McCaulay

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The novel HURACAN, By Diana McCaulay, I have to say was honestly one of the best books I have read to date. Once I got started I could not put it down and when I had to (for work or sleep) I could not wait to start again! It’s a bit different from what I usually read and was the first book I read from a local (Jamaican) Author. Shameful I know, esp. since I’m trying to be one myself! Definitely need to read more from my Jamaican authors.

For me, Huracan was an absolutely BRILLIANT READ and I certainly did not want it to end, parts of me even wants a sequel! It opened my eyes to bits and pieces of our history (even though parts were fictional) and made me reflect on my own family history but most importantly on me, on how I behave and think. I’m proud to say that this is on the good side.

Continue reading “A Book Review of “Huracan” By Diana McCaulay”

My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 2)


front cover

Well it’s been 2 months now, since Dads been gone. There isn’t a day I don’t think about him and the fact that he is gone still hits me. I know it will for a while. When I remember that he is gone I’m immediately taken back to the day and time of his last breaths. The sound of the liquid in his lungs as his body struggles to breathe properly still plays in surround sound in my head. I can see everything as it was. I don’t quite remember what I was wearing but I have a feeling when I put it on next it might hit me. The mind is funny like that.

I have his chain that he used to wear. The one with a small pulley on it. It was always the only chain that he wore. He had 2 in his lifetime as the original one was lost at sea, funny how that happens.

The first chain, I’m assuming, was one with a propellor on it (see pic below). I don’t remember this chain at all but he has it on in the photo of him and my God Father, Uncle Mally. It’s funny, I remember years ago when I first saw this picture of Dad I knew that this would be how I will remember him. In it, he has grabbed his best friend tightly around the neck and has the hugest of laughs. That was a big part of my Dad, his huge laugh, that he always did whenever he found something absolutely hilarious. I can hear it now… I’m sure those of you who knew him can hear it now too. I hear it every time I see a photo of him laughing.


Continue reading “My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 2)”

My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 1)

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Ian “Gibbo” Gibson

Thursday was the 1 month mark (day wise) of my Father’s passing. Saturday will be the date mark as he passed on Nov 8, 2018. I can’t believe how 1 month has come around so quickly. Time is something we usually take for granted until a significant event happens that makes us become aware of each passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year.

Every morning since my father left us, my first thought in my head as I wake up is: “My dads gone…” Everyday I go through a range of emotions but I’m happy to say that fairly soon after he passed I reached the “Happy” stage of grief. Strange I know…. I was/ still am a bit concerned about it, but at the same time I accept it and go through it because it feels good to be happy. Maybe I’ll have another breakdown in future and that’s ok too. I’ve learned to accept whatever emotion comes and to not hide them. If I am happy I will BE happy in the moment, for as long as it lasts. If sadness comes, I’ll ride out the wave of tears. I’m not embarrassed to cry in public. Real emotions are rarely ever seen and that’s a shame. Sure I avoid my triggers if I can but if I can’t so be it.

When people tell me that I’m so strong having gone this all this ordeal, (you’ll learn just how much in a paragraph further down) I respond by saying: “I don’t know how.” because honestly I didn’t know. A friend of mine said: “It’s cuz you HAD to be,” and I realized she is right. I had to be strong for my family. For my mom and my Step mom. When I wondered to myself as to how comes I am being strong through it all I realized that it feels as if my dads love for life, happy, jovial and always smiling spirit infiltrated mine. And that is such a wonderful thing to feel!!! You see, I struggle with depression and have for many, many years. As far back as childhood. But it’s funny how sometimes things happen unexpectedly and without explanation like me feeling at peace after my fathers passing. Sure there are days where I feel distraught and tears just pour out until I’m hiccuping like a 5yr old (lol) but over all I can safely say I have not had a seriously depressive thought since my dad passed. I literally look forward to EVERY NEW DAY! When I see signs of him around I smile. I look at pictures and I smile. Sometimes I tear up and that’s ok, but I smile through it all.

Continue reading “My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 1)”

“Over” vs “Under”?… That is the question

Toilet paper…… Over or Under? The Great Debate!

Since the invention of toilet paper people have argued whether which way was the “right” way to place it on the roll. There was even a 124 yr old patent that was discovered stating that “Over” was the right way. I too for a long time insisted that this was the right way too.

“Under” is sooooo annoying. You have to reach up under this roll to try and find the end of it and it can be so frustrating! It would always annoy me to the point where if I came across a friends bathroom and found it in the “Under” position…. I would flip it to “Over!” (sorry not sorry) lol Shameful I know. I would hate seeing it in my moms bathroom and even the powder room… I couldn’t stand it!!!

In my house thankfully my husband doesn’t really care which way it is put on but then that would also mean when it was his turn to change the roll he never really paid attention to how he did it and sometimes he would put it in the “Under” position. My helper (maid) straight up never replenished the roll when it was out lol  “Lort” help me! lol

Continue reading ““Over” vs “Under”?… That is the question”

Don’t Take Anything or Anyone for Granted


Last week was a week filled with sadness… I had found out that a college mate of mine had died. He was only 27 yrs old.. The same age as me.

He was brutally murdered by a friend of his who got into an angry jealous rage over his own girl friend and attacked my beloved friend with a butcher and serrated steak knife. In an article the man who killed my friend said “I just wanted him to die”  I was in shock. My friend ran from door to door screaming for help… he was never a fighter, right up to the day he died. People who had heard the screaming said that he heard my friend say: “I will not fight you..”

How can people be so evil??? What is going on in this world?? I feel as though the Anti-Christ is here, Living and Walking among us!! How else can you explain all the evil, war, deaths, murders, crazy people attacking and attempting to eat another human being??!!! WTF It is scary what is going on in the world. Murdering another human being is nothing casual but i have to say, even in the old days people were never murdered so brutally as they are today!

Continue reading “Don’t Take Anything or Anyone for Granted”