To My Step-mom Sanchia

 

Dear Sanchia

With dad:
You were always there right by his side,
Ready to help taking it all in stride.
Whatever the need may have been,
You gave him your all and dived right in.
You gave so much of yourself, so unselfishly,
It makes me think of the person I want to be.

 

You were his shinning light,
Down to the day his soul took flight.
I want you to know though,
That you are never alone.
For when you cry I cry,
No matter how hard I try.
I can feel your tears you see,
As if they flow through me.

 

The love you gave dad throughout the years,
Tells me of the load that your soul now bears.
But no matter what the future may bring,
I want you to remember one last thing:
Dads soul is now set free,
Sailing away across the sea.
To you my dear Sanchi,
Forever grateful I shall be.

 

Love, Panda Rose

 

dadswedding

 

-Crazy A

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My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 1)

Screenshot 2018-12-07 15.03.15
Ian “Gibbo” Gibson

Thursday was the 1 month mark (day wise) of my Father’s passing. Saturday will be the date mark as he passed on Nov 8, 2018. I can’t believe how 1 month has come around so quickly. Time is something we usually take for granted until a significant event happens that makes us become aware of each passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year.

Every morning since my father left us, my first thought in my head as I wake up is: “My dads gone…” Everyday I go through a range of emotions but I’m happy to say that fairly soon after he passed I reached the “Happy” stage of grief. Strange I know…. I was/ still am a bit concerned about it, but at the same time I accept it and go through it because it feels good to be happy. Maybe I’ll have another breakdown in future and that’s ok too. I’ve learned to accept whatever emotion comes and to not hide them. If I am happy I will BE happy in the moment, for as long as it lasts. If sadness comes, I’ll ride out the wave of tears. I’m not embarrassed to cry in public. Real emotions are rarely ever seen and that’s a shame. Sure I avoid my triggers if I can but if I can’t so be it.

When people tell me that I’m so strong having gone this all this ordeal, (you’ll learn just how much in a paragraph further down) I respond by saying: “I don’t know how.” because honestly I didn’t know. A friend of mine said: “It’s cuz you HAD to be,” and I realized she is right. I had to be strong for my family. For my mom and my Step mom. When I wondered to myself as to how comes I am being strong through it all I realized that it feels as if my dads love for life, happy, jovial and always smiling spirit infiltrated mine. And that is such a wonderful thing to feel!!! You see, I struggle with depression and have for many, many years. As far back as childhood. But it’s funny how sometimes things happen unexpectedly and without explanation like me feeling at peace after my fathers passing. Sure there are days where I feel distraught and tears just pour out until I’m hiccuping like a 5yr old (lol) but over all I can safely say I have not had a seriously depressive thought since my dad passed. I literally look forward to EVERY NEW DAY! When I see signs of him around I smile. I look at pictures and I smile. Sometimes I tear up and that’s ok, but I smile through it all.

Continue reading “My Dad: Ian “Gibbo” Gibson (Part 1)”