Typing for typing sake / PROCRASTINATION

procrastination

 

You know, a few months ago I decided to give this blog thing a try again and I was excited to get started, I even made a first post for the month of January. I had a goal in mind to do a post every month at least but really? Who was I kidding! lol. I have yet to make another post, even though I went all out and made a LONG ass list of blog topics to write about.

Well for the past two days (July 8 and today July 9 2014) I have been home sick with a stomach bug. Yay me. The mere thought of food made my stomach lurch and curl with pain. Mind you, I will say that I did quite enjoy the 2 days off of work, who wouldn’t lol, I have been here at home keeping my ass quite and trying to find food that my stomach could handle. I have been wanting to write both for this blog and my book and yet I still have not made a post nor written a single word for the book. What is it with procrastination? I seriously struggle with it. I have actually come to realise that it seems I find the idea of having to do something MORE exciting than actually doing the thing itself… does that even make sense? It does to me anyway.

So here I am typing away with honestly no topic in mind, well ok tons but I got my ass out of bed and I said ” you know what? fuck it just write damn! just open this laptop and start typing!’ Even if I type about typing (which I am at this point) at least I am typing! Something will come. And if it doesn’t well at least no one can say I still have yet to make a post! lol Trust me people have asked.

There are tons of things on my mind. Tons of topics I want to explore and write about. So maybe one will come to my mind and honestly right now Procrastination is seeming to be the topic of this post.

What is it about the damn thing? Why do we do it? Why does it exist? Why is it that some people have no problem getting up and just DOING while others sit there and wonder, dream, hope, fantasise, which ever, hell all of the above? I am guilty of the later. Yet when we do something, as small as it maybe, we have that moment of awesomeness, feelings of greatness, feelings and thoughts of “YES! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN FUCKING DO IT!” only to have it fade away as quickly, or almost as quickly as it came…. I go through that A LOT! Why can’t we jus be born DOERS?

Self sabotage is a hell of a thing. Boy do I know that VERY WELL… In case you all haven’t realised by now this is a very REAL post. Its my blog after all and hell refresh your memory of the name! Sometimes its just good to get REAL and HONEST and be OPEN!  Yes I am guilty of self sabotaging, my fiancé says it to me all the time. I am holding myself back. My question is WHY?! WHY DAMN?! We have all been there at some point, some of us are there now, like myself.

So my question to ya’ll is how do you get over yourself, get empowered? What is it that pushes you? Each of us are all different. How do you hold onto that wonderful BURST of awesomeness, of accomplishment when it pushes forth?

I for one try like hell to run with it, just like I am now.. Hell look how much I have typed thus far!

Some of you may think that this post may suck and be lame in comparison to the first post but honestly, I don’t care. I am having that moment right now. That wonderful burst of accomplishment of having finally written a bloody post and I’m running like hell with it! Trying to figure out simultaneously how to keep the damn thing going! lol

What I think works for me is looking at other things I have accomplished no matter how big or small it may be during that burst of awesomeness;  and you know what? It works. Another thing I am proud of right now, in this moment, is that I finally got my labels for the Hot Sauce I have decided to try and get on the market. A recipe passed down to me from my great grandfather. Yea that IS a big accomplishment! Why? Because it was taking so damn long and now I can plan a tasting. Now THAT is something to get excited about.

So figure out what makes you burst with awesomeness… what ever it is just FUCKING DO IT…. start something. Trust me it will lead to more awesomeness…

Oh and to answer that question I asked earlier: Why can’t we jus be born DOERS? Well because when we finally get off our asses and become a “DOER” is the best damn feeling in the world and who would want to miss out on that?!

Thats all she wrote!

Peace out

Crazy A

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